


you've ruined my life (by not being mine)

by smartlove



Series: gorgeous [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, Trans Lee Jeno, Trans Male Character, bc markmin, established markno, i cant believe that tag doesnt exist, markno r soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartlove/pseuds/smartlove
Summary: Jaemin hates Mark Lee.It was just something that was universally known, a simple fact, non-arguable. The sky is blue, the earth is round, Jaemin Na hates Mark Lee.“It’s because you’re both Leos,”Donghyuck said to him once, with an air of wisdom that he certainly didn’t possess.“All that fire in one relationship can’t be good.”Renjun had scoffed and said,“No, you idiot, it’s clearly because Mark is dating Jeno.”Jaemin Na, nineteen year old drama student, is helplessly in love with his best friend Jeno and helplesslyin hatewith Jeno's boyfriend. Or so he claims to be.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Mark Lee/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Series: gorgeous [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862665
Comments: 66
Kudos: 472





	you've ruined my life (by not being mine)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! i had so much fun writing this fic, i hold it very close to my heart.  
> i hope you like it as much i do! it's really just 17k of marknomin being stupid (esp markmin, i wanted to hit them several times).
> 
> the title is from taylor swift's gorgeous. 
> 
> alternatively titled: battle of the leos ft. a tired taurus.

Jaemin hates Mark Lee.

It was just something that was universally known, a simple fact, non-arguable. The sky is blue, the earth is round, Jaemin Na hates Mark Lee.

Jaemin established this in high school, when he and Mark used to compete for the male lead in the school play. They fuelled each other’s competitive spirits, neither satisfied with getting a supporting character. 

What started off as a friendly rivalry, a fun game to see who would play Romeo and who was stuck playing Mercutio—not that Jaemin minded playing such a heavily queer coded character—turned into something somewhat malicious when they both started playing dirty to get their roles. When Jaemin recounted his high school memories he would only remember his and Mark’s tragic attempts of sabotaging each other. Jaemin would give Mark the wrong rehearsal times so he could snatch Mark’s role as a _loyal_ understudy. Mark would use his charm on the stage director before rehearsals, knowing exactly how to butter them up. While Jaemin baked cookies for the whole cast trying to win them over, and more importantly, turn them against Mark. 

However, all of that childish rivalry and hatred should be over now right? Jaemin is nineteen years old, and while he is still hopelessly competitive, he has no reason to hate Mark Lee so deeply. While Jaemin decided to pursue drama in college, Mark strayed away from it, choosing to do creative writing instead and giving Jaemin no reason to feel threatened by him. And yet every time he sees Mark, which is quite often since their friend groups are heavily intertwined, he feels like he’s back in high school. He feels the need to pick an argument with the boy or do something foolish like tie his shoelaces together.

_“It’s because you’re both Leos,”_ Donghyuck said to him once, with an air of wisdom that he certainly didn’t possess. _“All that fire in one relationship can’t be good.”_

Renjun had scoffed and said, _“No, you idiot, it’s clearly because Mark is dating Jeno.”_

Oh right, Jeno. 

Jaemin’s best friend in the entire world. There was no one Jaemin adored more than Jeno Lee. They had known each other their entire lives, a classic next-door-neighbours situation. Jeno had been his rock throughout high school, he brought him flowers after his plays and supported Jaemin’s anti-Mark agenda.

Sure, there were many times where Jeno tried to tell him that _Mark really wasn’t that bad_ and _He was nice when you got to know him._ But Jaemin would scoff in disbelief and tell his naive best friend that he was just letting himself be fooled by Mark’s charm, the awkward but endearing persona that he pulled off so well. Jaemin insisted that the _real_ Mark was in fact, the worst. 

So imagine Jaemin’s surprise when he walked into Jeno’s dorm room one morning, a cup of coffee in his hand, made just the way Jeno liked it, only to see Mark Lee in his kitchen, making himself at home. 

Mark jumped when he saw Jaemin and dropped the apple he was holding onto the ground. _Good,_ Jaemin thought, _let Mark Lee eat bruised apples for the rest of his life_. He looked like he had just woken up, hair a disgusting mess atop his head, wearing boxers and a shirt that Jaemin realised in horror, belonged to Jeno.

_“What in the everloving fuck!”_ Jaemin proclaimed, his brain was short circuiting at the implications of Mark being there, looking like _that_. 

“Jaemin?” He heard from behind him, he turned to see Jeno, shirtless, save for his binder and leaning against the frame of his bedroom door. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to bring you coffee, like the amazing best friend I am,” Jaemin said, he gestures towards Mark, “What’s _he_ doing here?” 

Jeno opened his mouth to answer but before he could, Jaemin cut him off, noticing the mix of purple bruises scattered across Jeno’s collarbones. 

“Oh my god,” Jaemin hissed out in disbelief. “You’re sleeping with the enemy!”

He heard Mark snort but chose to ignore it in favour of staring down the boy in front of him, who blushed a furious crimson. 

“Can we talk?” Jeno said, he motioned for Jaemin to follow him into the room. “We’ll be right back, Mark,” He called to the boy, Mark replied with a noncommittal hum, even that sounded annoying.

Jaemin marched into the room and crossed his arms, 

“Dude, what the fuck?” He demanded

Jeno sat on the bed, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” He said, lips turning downward as he fiddled with the bedsheet.

Jaemin loosened his shoulders, the urge to fight trickling out of him immediately, Jeno usually had that effect on him. “I’m just confused,” He clarified. “Like seriously, how the fuck did this happen.” 

Jeno swallowed, avoiding Jaemin’s gaze. “We’ve actually been uh, hooking up, for a while now.” His cheeks grew redder. “But last night he asked me to be his boyfriend.”

_Boyfriend._ Hooking up with the enemy was one thing, but dating the enemy? That was somehow worse.

“Are you mad?” Jeno asked, looking up at Jaemin, who tightened his grip around the cup of coffee.

“I just wish you didn’t feel like you had to hide it from me.” Jaemin said, that was the most honest thing he could’ve said. If he was any more honest he was sure feelings would be hurt.

“Are you kidding?” Jeno said, chuckling slightly as he did so. “You just yelled at me for _sleeping with the enemy_ , can you blame me for keeping this from you?”

Jaemin smiled, “I suppose not.” 

He moved to sit next to Jeno on the bed and handed him the coffee. “I’m not mad, I promise.”

Jeno took the cup gratefully, “I know you and Mark have a, uh, complicated history.” Jaemin snorted at his choice of words. Call them what they were: _mortal enemies_. “But I was hoping you’d.. I don’t know.. Support me? I really like him Nana.”

It bothered him. He didn’t know why, but it did. 

Jeno is perfect, he’s everything good in the world. He’s the ocean when the tide is in, calm and patient. He’s the forest during the day, welcoming, a home for many lost creatures, Jaemin included. Even the things about him that annoyed Jaemin were still perfect. Because he’s Jeno. _He’s Jeno_. And Jaemin couldn’t see him any other way. 

And Mark, well, everyone knew what Jaemin thought about Mark. 

But because he’s Jeno, and Jaemin would rather cut off his own tongue then use it to upset him, he swallowed his pride and said,

“Of course I’ll support you Jen, you’re my best friend and all I want is to see you happy.”

It’s not a lie. Of course he wants Jeno to be happy. He just doesn’t think it’s possible for Mark to provide him that happiness. Maybe it should be him inst— 

Jaemin quickly cut off that thought.

Jeno grinned joyfully at him, he placed the coffee on his bedside table and threw his arms around Jaemin with no warning. Jaemin sinked into his touch, like Jeno was quicksand and he’s given up trying not to drown in it. 

“Dude, thank you, I love you.” Jeno said into his shoulder. Jaemin’s chest grew tight, he had the sudden urge to cry.

“I love you too,” He responded, the words felt like poison in his mouth.

It only dawned on him a few days later.

They were all at Jeno’s apartment for their traditional movie night. It was going how it usually did, Donghyuck and Yangyang were arguing over the movie line up, Yangyang insisted that they added Infinity War to the list while Donghyuck exclaimined very loudly that he would much rather claw his eyes out then watch _another fucking Avengers movie_. Meanwhile Jaemin and Renjun were on the couch, Renjun watched the other two bicker, occasionally chiming in to stir the pot, while Jaemin made fruitless attempts to cuddle the boy. Renjun relented much quicker then he usually did, letting Jaemin wrap his arms around his small frame as he smiled at him behind tired eyes. 

Jeno walks in from the kitchen, cradling a bowl of popcorn to his chest. It was just another normal movie night with his friends except for the fact that Mark was sitting on the same couch as Jaemin, smiling at Jeno as he walked over and plopped himself onto the couch, immediately leaning against Mark’s chest. Something akin to disgust curled in Jaemin’s stomach as Mark kissed Jeno’s cheek, taking the bowl from him so Jeno could cuddle in further. 

He felt a sharp pain in his side and yelped, glaring at Renjun who hit him. 

“Stop that.” Renjun mouthed, giving him a reprimanding look.

Jaemin scrunched his nose, “Stop what?”

Renjun just rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the movie.

Jaemin however, turned back to watch the couple. It wasn’t unusual to invite people to their movie night. Sometimes Yangyang brought his boyfriend Dejun, and while the boy was strange––which is expected considering he was dating someone like Yangyang––Jaemin had no problem with it. So, why did watching Jeno and Mark together make his stomach coil? Why did he watch their interlaced fingers with loathing and a little bit of shame?

Maybe he had some internalised homophobia to work through.

But then Mark leaned down to capture Jeno’s mouth in a kiss, a small peck, it was barely anything but it was the first time Jaemin had ever seen them kiss. Jeno’s cheeks darkened with colour and he smiled at Mark, it was a private kind of smile, like sharing a secret only the two of them knew. He wanted to hear the secret. He wanted Jeno to smile at him like that, maybe even kiss him like that too...

Oh.

_Oh no._

The realisation crashes onto Jaemin rather than dawning on him. Sudden and rough like waves against the shore, like Jeno has finally reached the high tide and Mark is the moon, guiding him through it.

Jaemin is in love with Jeno.

He’s in love with his best friend. 

His best friend, who is dating Mark Lee.

_Oh, how he hates Mark Lee._

***

Which brings Jaemin where he is now, six months later. 

Six months since Jeno and Mark have started dating, six months of Jaemin loving Jeno––although one night, while Jaemin was hotboxing with Renjun in his car, he recalled repressed memories from high school where he had been wholeheartedly infatuated with Jeno––and six months of Jaemin picking petty fights with Mark, because he needed to let his frustrations out in some way and punching pillows just doesn’t work for him. All in all, it’s going pretty terribly.

He’s at a movie night again. Only this time it’s at Yukhei’s house because his roommate Kun is an amazing cook and always makes them homemade chinese food. Their group expanded greatly over the last six months, Mark’s older friends slowly moulded themselves into the friend group as Mark started spending more and more time with Jeno. Along with that, Kun’s little brother Chenle and his best friend Jisung started uni that year, so they naturally fit into the group. Jaemin absolutely adored the younger two, they brought out his childish side in the best way. Jaemin was content sitting with Jisung on the floor, as he leaned back against Yangyang’s legs.

It was musical night, because both Donghyuck and Yukhei were obsessed and had been excitedly planning the lineup the entire week. 

“Can we watch _High School Musical_ ?” Yangyang complains after the credits for Hairspray roll up. “That was great but sometimes you need a _classic.”_

Donghyuck looks like he’s about to burst a blood vessel, “ _High school musical is not a fucking-”_

“Let’s do it!” Yukhei says, interrupting Donghyuck before he could go on a tangent. He logs into _Disney+_ , courtesy of Kunhang and his willingness to spend money on anything, and searches for the movie.

“Hey, didn’t we do this movie for our school play?” Dejun asks, from where he’s sitting on the single couch with his legs thrown over the armrest. “What year was it?”

“Senior year, spring musical,” Kunghang answers, mouth full of popcorn. “I remember because Mark was Troy.” 

Jaemin remembers that vividly. 

“Of course Mark was Troy,” Chenle says, “That’s so fitting.”

Mark smiles bashfully from where he’s sitting on the floor while Jeno was resting his head on the boy’s lap.

“He only got it because he spent half the year kissing the drama teacher’s ass.” Jaemin says, looking over at Mark and throwing him a bitter look.

Mark catches his eye, and his own glint with mischief. “Who were you again, Jaemin? I always forget since you had no lines, oh you know, when you weren’t trying to steal mine.”

Jeno gives Mark a warning look. Jaemin just grits his teeth and says, “I was Ryan, you dick.”

Mark hums, “Sharpay would’ve been more fitting.”

_“You are such a-”_

“Okay!” Jeno exclaims, drowning out the rest of Jaemin’’s sentence. “Maybe we shouldn’t watch _High School Musical._ ” 

No one else argues, not even Yangyang. Yukhei puts on Grease.

  
  
  


Jaemin gets bored halfway through the movie, he’s seen Grease hundreds of times because of his drama class and could quote it at this point. His gaze leaves the screen and naturally lands on Jeno, who is whispering to Mark, the two of them having a private conversation. Mark’s smile is shy as he listens to Jeno and plays with the boy’s fingers.

As much as Jaemin wanted to say that Mark was bad for Jeno, he really wasn’t. They balanced each other out so well, Jeno was too serious sometimes, always throwing himself into college and work. Mark was good at helping him breathe. 

Jaemin scoffs, feeling betrayed by his own thoughts for complimenting Mark, he snatches the half-full bowl of popcorn from Jisung’s clutches.

“I’m going to make more popcorn.” He announces, there’s a chime of halfhearted hums as Jaemin stands up.

Jisung opens his mouth to speak, “But there’s still popcor-” 

“I’ll come with you.” Jeno says, standing up and following Jaemin out of the lounge. 

Jeno closes the door connecting the lounge and the kitchen, he turns to Jaemin and he can feel a confrontation coming.

“Will it kill you to get along with Mark?” He asks, voice coated with the familiar frustration from a recurring argument. 

“You know, I think it might.” Jaemin muses, ripping open a new packet of popcorn and throwing it into the microwave.

“I’m serious, Jaemin.”

Jaemin crosses his arms, and quirks an eyebrow at Jeno. The kernels in the microwave begin popping “So am I.” 

Jeno gives him an incredulous look, “Why is everything a challenge with you?!”

“It’s not just me! It takes two to tango and Mark is tangoing _real hard_ right now.”

Jeno scrunches his face up in disgust, “God, don’t say it like that.” 

Jaemin giggles, realising how it sounds. Jeno joins in and soon they are both laughing like idiots. The microwave beeps.

“You are so…” Jeno says, dragging out the last word.

“Handsome? Talented? Charming?” 

_“Annoying.”_ Jeno says, “Stop picking fights with my boyfriend.” He sounds lighter now, the amusement in his tone shining through.

Jaemin winks at him, “I’ll try my best.”

They both know he won’t.

***

Jeno is tired. 

He pulled an all-nighter to work on his geophysics paper, just barely making the 9am due date. After a short two hour nap he spent the rest of his morning organising the official permits for a protest the enrivo club was having in a couple weeks, it was really the president Doyoung’s job, but the older boy already had so much on his plate and Jeno had problems with saying no so he very stupidly volunteered. Now he was at the campus library trying, _and failing,_ to study for his quiz while dumb and dumber bickered over the calming tunes of his lo-fi playlist. 

He groans and takes out one of his airpods. 

“I’m not _accusing_ you of anything,” Jaemin was saying, sounding extremely accusatory. “I just think it’s funny how I dye my hair pink and you show up a few weeks later with freshly dyed green hair.”

“You didn’t invent hair dye Jaemin, you’re not the trendsetter you think you are.” Mark replies.

Jaemin gasps, “That’s rich coming from you! Don’t think I forgot about the time you dyed your hair black straight after I did.”

“Black is my natural hair colour!” 

“Guys!” Jeno says, wincing as his voice increases in volume, he shoots an apologetic smile to the people on the table beside theirs. “Can you cut it out?” He asks more quietly.

Both of them ignore him. Jeno’s own boyfriend and best friend were ignoring him. The boy he’s been dating for half a year and the boy he’s known since he was in diapers. Whatever deity that was looking down at Jeno sure was cruel. 

It wasn’t even his fault that the three of them were together. Jeno had come to the library _alone._ He knew he wouldn’t get work done with other people around, but Jaemin had texted him, asking to meet up and Jeno had invited him along _(his problems with saying no strikes again!)._ When they arrived at the library, they ran into Mark who had apparently been there all day.

“You know what Jaemin, I’m not feeling the green so much anymore, might fuck around and dye it pink, just for you.” Mark taunts, his voice laced with artificial honey.

Jaemin glares at him, a vein in his neck popping out slightly. His hair falls over his eyes, making his glare look completely non-threatening. His hair has grown much longer, Jeno notices, his black roots peeking from the pink, it was kind of adorable.

“You are so petty.” He says to Mark, then he turns to Jeno, giving the boy a pout, and finally acknowledging his existence. “Jeno, tell him he’s being petty.

Jeno softens slightly. They both look ridiculous, sitting next to each other, staring at Jeno with their contrasting hair colours and matching red faces. The annoyance quickly sizzles out of him.

“Mark, you’re being petty.” Jeno says, biting back his smile.

This time Mark pouts at him, and Jeno secretly apologises for calling his deity cruel. 

“Wow, my own boyfriend, I see how it is,” Mark says. 

Jeno’s retort is drowned out by an alert on Jaemin’s phone. 

“Oh, I’ve got a class in five minutes.” He says. He stands up and puts his books back into his backpack, not that he actually used them while they were out. “See you later Jen,” He blows Jeno a kiss, and then turns to Mark and flips him off before leaving. 

Once Jaemin leaves, Jeno remembers that he has to study. He sighs, annoyed himself for welcoming the distraction. Mark shifts his books over to sit closer to him, bumping his knee with Jeno’s and locking their ankles together under the table.

They studied in silence for about half an hour. Jeno was struggling to focus, he found himself rereading the same line over and over again. He hears Mark shut his laptop, feeling the boy move closer and press a kiss to Jeno’s shoulder.

“Let’s take a break,” He says softly.

“Can’t,” Jeno says, not looking up from his textbook “I have to finish studying for this and then start on my green chem essay.”

He can feel Mark’s frown before he sees it. His eyes leave his book to meet Mark’s worried expression.

“You’ve been working all day on no sleep, and don’t try to lie and say you slept because I can tell you haven’t.” He says before Jeno could open his mouth to defend himself. He brings his hand up to hold the boy’s face, gently caressing his thumb right under Jeno’s eye, where he knows his dark circles are prominent.

“I’m sorry.” Jeno says, he closes his eyes and leans into Mark’s touch. “There’s just a lot going on.”

“I know, baby,” Mark replies. “But you can’t keep working yourself to the bone like this, you’ll burn out.”

Jeno knows, _he knows._ But it’s a hard thing to unlearn. His need to be the best always overpowered his care for his own wellbeing.

Mark seems to sense his conflict, because he says, “Tell me what’s on your plate, maybe I can help.”

Jeno smiles gratefully. He begins listing everything that had been on his mind lately, everything that was bothering him. Mark chimed in with helpful suggestions like _“Isn’t Dejun in the enviro club as well? Ask him for help!”_ and _“I can read over your essay if you want, give you a fresh perspective.”_ Even though Mark was a humanities major who loathed stem subjects with a passion, Jeno was still glad to hear it.

“-on top of all that, you and Jaemin are _always_ fighting, being in the same room as you guys is dreadful.” Jeno rambles, “Like seriously do you even make an attempt to be nice? Or do you just see him and immediately think _Hm, what can I say to make Jaemin hate me more than he already does?”_

Mark giggles slightly, then sobers up when he catches Jeno’s serious expression. “I didn’t realise it bothered you so much.” 

“How can it not!” Jeno replies, “Both of you are so important to me, can’t you at least try to be friends with him?”

“But it’s Jaemin!” Mark whines, “The thought of talking to him alone is…” He gives an exaggerated shudder. 

“Come on, Mark.” Jeno insists, he widens his eyes at the boy, corners of his mouth turning downwards. “Do it for me?”

Mark sighs, and Jeno knows that he won. “Fine,” He relents, “Only because I hate seeing you stressed.” 

Jeno smiles gratefully at him, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together. He feels a lot lighter now that he told Mark about his burdens, he was glad he had the other boy to help him carry it. Jeno felt so lucky to have him. He presses a kiss to Mark’s lips, it’s short but he hopes it shows his gratitude.

“I guess I could take a break,” Jeno mumbles, “Do you wanna get ice cream?”

Mark smiles back at him, eyes shining. “Fuck yeah.”

***

Apparently, Mark is a filthy liar because it takes him all of _two days_ to crack and insult Jaemin again during one of their stupid fights.

_(“Why do you even care?” Kunhang asked Jeno when he ranted to him about it. “We all hate Yangyang but Dejun still keeps him around.”_

_“Hey!” Yangyang, Jeno’s roommate, shouted from the other side of the room, “Are you just gonna let him talk to me like that, babe?” He asked Dejun who was laying on his lap, playing a game on his phone._

_Dejun simply shrugged, “He’s not wrong.”)_

Jeno didn't want to dissect why he cared so much. He didn’t know why it was so important to him that the two boys get along but he didn’t want to think about it. Because it was probably the same reason why Jeno’s heart stuttered when he heard Jaemin laugh, not his fake sarcastic one that he loved to use, but his genuine full-bellied laugh that he only reserved for Jeno. Or the reason why he always felt warm when Jaemin looked at him, like there was no one else Jaemin wanted to see. Or why he lay awake thinking about how nice it was when Jaemin held his hand. 

Yeah, Jeno didn’t want to think about any of that. 

Instead, he put his energy into conducting a foolproof plan to force Jaemin and Mark into an unlikely friendship. Since they weren’t going to put a halt to their stupid rivalry, even after Jeno had so kindly asked them to, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

Phase one of the plan began at Jeno’s dorm. Mark came over with a box of hair dye, because he couldn’t commit to one colour to save his life, and asked Jeno to help him dye his hair.

However, the pair were quick to get distracted and before long they were making out on the couch, the box of dye laying forgotten on the floor. 

Jeno sighs softly as Mark wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him closer. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss and drinking in all of his boyfriend. He groans when Mark bites his lip, pulling slightly while his own hands fly up to tug at the boy’s hair. Oh right, his hair. Jeno pulls away, giggling at how Mark chases his lips, like he can’t get enough. 

“We should dye your hair before it gets late.” Jeno says, lips barely inches away from Mark. “You don’t want to go to sleep with wet hair.”

Mark blinks lazily at Jeno, his cheeks flushed pink. “Oh, right. That’s why I came over.”

Jeno rolls his eyes, “Go set everything up, I’ll order food from the Thai place and then join you.” He pulls away from Mark, and misses his warmth immediately.

The boy hums in response, he takes a moment to collect himself and then stands, picking up the box and walking into the bathroom.

Jeno waits until he sees Mark’s figure completely disappear and pulls out his phone to text Jaemin. Time to begin Phase Two.

**_you_ **

_jaem_

_jaem_

_jaem_

**_nana ^.^_ ** **_  
_ ** _dude wat do u want_

_im tryin to take a nap_

**you**

_can u come over :((_

_pls it's important_

_rlly important_

**_nana ^.^_ **

_what is it this time_

_if u make me come downstairs jus to kill a_

_spider again i stg_

Jeno didn’t think this far ahead. Jaemin lived a floor above him in the same dorm building. He didn’t think of an excuse, banking on the fact that the other boy always rushed over when Jeno asked. Jaemin was much less easy to convince when his sleep was disrupted. 

He panics, typing out the first excuse that comes to mind.

**you**

_i ran out of pads_

_n im too lazy to go buy them_

_ik u keep spare ones in ur dorm_

_:((_

**_nana ^.^_ **

_..._

_fine_

_i’ll b there in two mins_

Jeno grins victoriously, impressed with himself at how easily Jaemin was tricked, Yangyang would truly be proud of him.

A few minutes later his door swings open, because Jaemin never bothers to knock and Jeno never bothers to lock. 

Jaemin walks in, he’s wearing sweats and his hair’s ruffled from sleep. He looks thoroughly unimpressed, an unopened packet of pads in his hand. 

“One day I’ll say no to the stupid favours you make me do that you could easily do yourself.” Jaemin says. 

Jeno grins up at him. Ignoring the way his heart rate quickens desperately at the sight of the other boy. “Today is not that day, can you put that in my bathroom?”

Jaemin scoffs at him, but walks to Jeno’s bathroom anyway. Jeno stands up and follows closely. As soon as Jaemin walks in, Jeno shuts the door behind him. He quickly grabs the chair he had placed near the bathroom earlier and leans it between the handle and the wall, successfully locking both his boyfriend, and Jaemin in the bathroom together. 

If this didn’t work, Jeno had no idea what would.

***

Mark is pouring black hair dye into a plastic bowl when he hears someone walk into the bathroom, assuming it’s his boyfriend, he looks up, only to see Jaemin staring at him, his eyes widening in shock.

“What are you–” 

The door slams shut behind Jaemin, and then Jeno’s muffled voice comes through it.

“I’m locking you two in there until you become friends!” He exclaims, Mark notes that he sounds way too giddy than he should be. “Work out whatever shit you have built up from the last five years! I’ll be back after I finish the new _Brooklyn Nine-Nine_ episode.” 

Mark frowns, “Jeno! We were supposed to watch that together! Jeno!” He shouts but the other boy simply ignores him, Mark hears his footsteps grow fainter.

He looks back at Jaemin, who drops whatever is in his hands on the counter and crosses his arms, glaring at Mark.

“I don’t plan on working through _anything_ with you.” Jaemin declares.

“Me neither, we’re on the same page for once.” Mark agrees.

“Ugh,” Jaemin sneers at him. “That makes me want to disagree with you just for the sake of it.”

Mark rolls his eyes, focusing his attention back on the hair dye, he brings the brush up to apply it to his hair, some of it drips down onto his forehead.

Jaemin scoffs. He snatches the brush from Mark’s hands and grabs the bowl of dye from the sink. “Let me do this, you’ll make a mess.”

He mixes the dye in with the brush, Mark tells him he already mixed it but Jaemin just shushes him. Jaemin is already close to Mark but he moves even closer when he starts coating black dye over his hair. Mark shivers slightly, it’s cold against his scalp. He starts at Mark’s roots, painting down in small strokes and establishing a relaxing rhythm.

Mark watches Jaemin’s concentrated expression in the bathroom mirror, the dye stains his fingertips, his eyebrows are furrowed slightly. Mark is about to tease Jaemin, tell him not to fuck up his hair, but knowing him he would ruin it out of pure spite. So he stays silent. 

“Why did you come over anyway?” He asks instead,

Jaemin shrugs, “Jeno needed pads so I got him some.”

Mark laughs, “He hasn’t had a period in like two months, he really played you.”

Jaemin groans, “I’m such an idiot, I didn’t even question it. I just came over because Jeno told me to.”

Jaemin’s expression turns fond as he adds more dye to the brush. The lightbulb above them flickers faintly.

“I guess that’s another thing we’re on the same page about.” Mark observes, “Jeno.”

Jaemin looks up, making eye contact with Mark through the mirror. His expression shifts to something Mark has never seen on the boy before, and yet it looked eerily familiar. 

Jaemin gives him a weak smile. “Yeah,” He says softly, “I have no idea what I’d do without him.”

His voice shakes as he speaks.

Suddenly, Mark understands. It clicks into place like coming across a missing piece of a puzzle years later. Of course Jaemin’s expression looks so familiar. Because it’s the same one Mark wears himself. It’s the expression you wear when you’re in love.

Jaemin is in love with Jeno.

Mark’s heart cracks a little bit for the younger boy, whose hand trembles slightly as he goes back to coating his hair. 

A part of him wants to hate Jaemin. Add it to his long list of reasons why he couldn’t stand Jaemin Na. But how could he? How could he blame Jaemin for falling for Jeno, when Mark did exactly the same. 

The air was more tense now, more suffocating. Neither of them have to say it to know they understood each other. 

“Since we both care about Jeno so deeply...” Mark begins, attempting to slice through the tension. “...maybe we should just pretend, for his sake.”

“Pretend?”

“Yeah like, we tell him we worked it all out, and then pretend we can stand each other in front of Jeno.”

“He’s gonna know, _dumbass._ ” Jaemin says.

“No, he won’t.” Mark insists. “I’m a very talented actor and you are a _somewhat okay_ extra.”

Jaemin glares at him, and in a flash he brushes a wet, cold strip of dye down Mark’s neck. 

He flinches back from the sensation. “Okay, okay!” He raises his hands in mock surrender. “I’ll admit, your performance of Puck during the winter musical was very compelling.”

Jaemin smirks, “Just what I like to hear.” 

“So, what do you say?”

The younger boy sighs, “Alright, let’s pretend. To make Jeno happy.”

Mark hums in agreement, “To make Jeno happy.”

Jaemin finishes dyeing Mark’s hair in silence. 

***

Mark is in the kitchen, making a cup of coffee with his fancy new coffee maker when he gets a text from his boyfriend.

**_< jen3_ **

_morning baby!!!!!_

_i’ll b over soon im just buying ingredients_

_also i invited jaemin!_

He smiles at his phone. The night before, Jeno had sent him the link to a recipe for peanut butter cookies and had basically pleaded with Mark to bake it with him. _These look so good we have to make them! Let’s use your kitchen since it’s bigger!!! Come on!!!_ He had said, while spamming Mark with the puppy eyes emoji. Like seriously, how could he say no to that?

Both Jeno and Mark were disasters in the kitchen, maybe bringing Jaemin along would not be the worst thing in the world.

Mark was typing out his response when his front door creaked open. He looks up to see Donghyuck walk in, wearing the same clothes he had on the night before, hair sticking up like a bird’s nest. He doesn’t notice Mark in the kitchen, quietly making his way through the living room. 

“Late night?” Mark asks, smirking as the boy jumps. He whirls around, staring at Mark with widened eyes, pink crawling up his cheeks.

“Shut the fuck up.” Donghyuck huffs out. He marches past Mark to the coffee machine and proceeds to make himself a cup.

Mark laughs, “Who was it this time?” 

Donghyuck doesn’t answer until he finishes making his coffee. He sits at the table across from Mark, the blush in his cheeks growing darker. 

“Renjun.” He mumbles, avoiding Mark’s gaze and staring down at the chipped wooden table instead.

Mark’s jaw drops. _“No fucking way.”_

Donghyuck looks up and sends him a glare. “Close your fucking mouth! We didn’t even do anything.”

Mark raises an eyebrow, “Oh yeah?” He challenges, “Then why do you look like the textbook image of a walk of shame right now?” 

Donghyuck’s face grows redder but his glare remains. “Nothing happened! We just had a few drinks, and then he kissed me and asked me to spend the night,” He smiles softly while recounting the memory. “And then we slept, _literally_ slept. That’s it.”

“Holy shit.” Mark says, eyes widening. “I owe Jeno twenty bucks.”

“You bet on my love life?” Donghyuck asks, scandalised.

Mark just stares at him. “You bet on mine first.” He says, remembering how Donghyuck and Yukhei had started a betting pool on when Mark would suck it up and confess to Jeno.

“Touche,” The boy says, “Speaking of Jeno, is he still coming over today? Do I need to wear my noise cancelling headphones so I don’t hear anything traumatising?”

“You’re hilarious,” Mark says, unamused. “And no you don’t need to, he’s bringing Jaemin.”

“Again?” 

“What’s wrong with it?” Mark asks, confused by Donghyuck’s slightly judgemental tone. Then again, everything Donghyuck says has an air of judgment to it. 

“Dude, don’t you think it’s weird that Jeno invites Jaemin to every one of your dates?”

“Not every date.” Mark defends. 

He thinks about it. The other night when Jeno finally let them out of the bathroom and Mark had left behind his green hair and supposedly his hostility for Jaemin, Mark thought Jeno would finally stop forcing the two of them together. But Mark’s pseudo friendship with Jaemin had only excited his boyfriend, to the point where he invited Jaemin along to everything. Mark didn’t mind too much, in fact he didn’t think too much about it until now. 

Should he find it weird? Should he be concerned that Jeno kept inviting Jaemin? Should he be paying more attention to how close Jaemin and Jeno were now that he knows of the feelings Jaemin harbours for his boyfriend?

Donghyuck knocks his knuckles against the table, effectively breaking Mark out of his thoughts. 

“Dude, I can hear you overthinking. Chill out, I was just asking.” He stands up from the chair, stretching out like a cat. He pats Mark on the head as he walks past him. “If you need me, I’ll be napping in my room. Have fun with your boyfriends.”

Mark frowns, even more confused now than before. “Jaemin isn’t my—” 

Donghyuck closes the door to his room before Mark could finish. 

***

Third-wheeling the boy you’re in love with and his boyfriend isn’t a choice, it’s a game and Jaemin is losing. 

In Jaemin’s defence, when Jeno rocked up to his dorm room, holding a bag of groceries, asking him if he wanted to go to _Mark’s apartment,_ he was going to decline. Every nerve in Jaemin’s body had warned him against it. But then Jeno looked at him with his big, bright moonlike eyes and Jaemin was ready to give the boy anything he wanted.

Which brings Jaemin to where he is now, elbows deep in flour while Jeno and Mark bickered over the details of the recipe. Admittedly, the baking wasn’t that bad if he ignored Mark’s entire existence. Jeno was adorably useless in the kitchen, and Jaemin was the only one who actually knew how to bake. Mark was also useless but it was _not adorable._ The way Mark would squint at the recipe through his glasses, hair falling over his face and flour messily sprawled across his cheeks, was _not adorable_ in the slightest. Definitely not. 

Anyways,

Jaemin was the only one actually following the recipe. Jeno had spent most of his time curating the _perfect baking playlist_ and decided that was enough, while Mark was still trying to figure out how to preheat the oven. 

Jaemin groans, putting down the dry ingredients that he was mixing. “I’ll turn it on, here mix this.” 

Mark gives him a sheepish look and moves away from the oven to let Jaemin take his place. He figures out how to turn on the oven instantly. It really wasn’t that hard.

“Seriously, how do you survive on your own?” He asks Mark incredulously.

Mark just shrugs, a few ingredients spill out of the bowl. “Hyuck usually does all the cooking.” 

Jaemin grabs the bowl back from Mark, before he makes even more of a mess. “You and Jeno are both so bad at this, if you ever moved in together you’d die.” He comments.

“That’s why we have you, Nana,” Jeno chimes in from where he’s sitting on the kitchen counter. 

Jaemin ignores the way his heart rate quickens at the offhand comment, instead he does what he does best, he pouts. 

“Is that all I am to you?” He proclaims in his regular dramatic fashion. “Nothing but a pretty face who cooks and cleans?”

Jeno looks up from his phone, perking up at him like a puppy. “You clean too?” A playful smile on his lips. 

Jaemin scoffs, offended. He runs his finger through the flour on the counter that Mark spilled, in one swift movement he wipes it on Jeno’s face. 

“Hey!” The boy whines, he scans the room for something to retaliate with and his eyes rest on the opened bag of flour. Jaemin sees the exact moment the idea clicks in his head.

“Jeno, no.” Jaemin says, moving backward and holding his hands out in warning.

Jeno just grins slyly at him, eyes disappearing as he reaches into the bag and grabs a handful of flour, in one swift movement he throws it all on Jaemin’s face.

“Seriously?” He huffs, wiping his face with his sleeve, he could feel flour in his nose and mouth. Jeno laughs hysterically. “You’re going to pay for that.” He moves to grab the bag of flour, fully intent on getting his revenge.

“Woah woah woah,” Mark calls from behind them, “Don’t mess up the kitchen, Donghyuck will kill me.”

Jaemin and Jeno look at each other, and Jaemin knows exactly what the other boy is thinking. He matches Jeno’s grin as he reaches into the bag and grabs a handful of flour. Before Mark can even question them, he throws it at the boy, covering him in the white powder. 

Mark sneezes a few times before his lips seperate into a smirk. “Oh it’s fucking on.”

And thus began an unruly food fight, the three of them were giggling like unsupervised toddlers as they covered each other in various powders. Their bowl of cookie dough sat on the counter, abandoned. Soon the kitchen floor is covered in dry ingredients and Jaemin is sure there is cocoa powder in his ears.They decide to call it quits when Jeno throws an egg and it narrowly misses Mark’s head, hitting the wall behind him. 

Jaemin finishes the cookies while the other two clean up the mess. As he puts the tray of cookies into the oven, he decides that this has been one of the best afternoons of his life. He turns to voice this to the other two when he catches an intimate moment.

Jeno is smiling fondly at Mark, he caresses the boy’s face with his hand and brushes flour off Mark’s face with his thumb. Jaemin knows he shouldn’t be watching, but he can’t take his eyes off the pair. Mark smiles gratefully at the taller boy and leans in to kiss him. Jaemin feels his stomach fill up with something unpleasant, jealousy maybe? It’s green and rotten and ugly but he doesn’t know if he feels it for just Mark anymore. 

He remembers then that this isn’t _his_ afternoon, it’s _their_ afternoon that he crashed. He’s nothing but an intruder in their relationship. He turns back to the oven before either of them notice his stare, blinking back his own tears. 

Jaemin sighs, the joy he was feeling trickling out his exhale like it was smoke in his lungs, unwelcome and unwanted. 

Mark suggests they watch a movie while they wait for the cookies to bake. If Jaemin was smart he would invent an excuse to leave, maybe check his phone and pretend Renjun texted him with an emergency. But instead, he gives them both a weak smile and stays for the movie. 

Twenty minutes later the oven dings, letting them know their sad excuse for peanut butter cookies were done. Jaemin hops up from the couch. 

“I’ll get it,” He says, eager to get away from the other two.

“I’ll come with you,” Jeno says, getting up as well. 

He follows Jaemin into the kitchen in silence, neither of them say anything as Jaemin puts on the oven mitts, he takes the cookies out and places them on the counter. 

“God, those smell amazing,” Jeno says. 

Jaemin gives a hum of agreement.

The other boy frowns at him, “Are you okay, Nana?” 

Jaemin nods, giving him a small smile. Jeno doesn’t buy it, of course he doesn’t. 

“You’ve been so quiet since we finished baking, are you sure?” 

Jaemin sighs, he takes off the oven mitts and wrings it between his hands.

“Why do you keep inviting me?” He asks quietly. 

“What kind of question is that? Because you’re my friend, I want to spend time with you.”

Jaemin groans, his frustration growing. “Yangyang is your friend too, I don’t see you inviting him to your dates with Mark.”

Worry lines form on Jeno’s forehead. “That’s different,” 

“How?” Jaemin challenges.

“Don’t do that, I’m not Mark, you can’t rile me up the same way.” He can hear the exasperation in Jeno’s tone. 

“Then tell me, how is it different?” Jaemin presses on, he wants to hear Jeno say it. 

“It just _is_ okay! Why are you so worked up? Is it so wrong to want to hang out with you?” 

Guilt tugs at Jaemin’s stomach, he’s right. Jeno isn’t Mark, he doesn’t respond well to sudden confrontation, Jaemin was being too harsh.

He breathes in and out slowly, letting his heart cool down a bit. “Okay, I’m sorry,” He says, “I didn’t mean to come after you like that… I just… I hate feeling like the third wheel,”

“Nana,” Jeno says gently, he moves forward, probably to comfort Jaemin with a hug, but the boy steps back. 

“I’m sorry for making you feel like a third wheel,” Jeno continues, “That was not my intention, I just wanted quality time with both my favourite people.”

Jaemin’s heart broke with how genuine Jeno sounded. How could he not fall more in love?

He suddenly hates himself. For craving reassurance from Jeno, for sounding so weak, so insecure. Jeno didn’t owe him anything, especially not his love. 

“No no no don’t apologise, I was just getting in my head and overthinking stuff.” Jaemin says quickly, the last thing he wanted to do was make Jeno feel bad. “I love spending time with you too, today was really fun.” 

Jeno gives him a soft smile, “Come here,” He holds out his arms for a hug and Jaemin immediately goes to him, letting the other boy wrap his arms around Jaemin, leaning into his comfort. “You’ve never ever been a third wheel to me,” Jeno whispers against his ear, “You're as important to me as Mark is, I promise.”

_But do you love me the same way you love Mark?_ Jaemin wants to ask, he wants to beg, but instead he buries his head into Jeno’s shoulder and lets the boy hold him. Maybe, just maybe, this was enough for him.

***

Mark runs into Jaemin on the bus. 

It’s an awkward moment where Jaemin enters the bus, makes eye contact with Mark, and shifts his eyes back towards the shutting doors as if contemplating a quick escape. 

Instead of leaving, he swipes his bus card and takes the seat next to Mark. Sighing, like sitting next to him would kill him, Mark kind of hopes it does. 

“Sup,” Mark says, unsure whether initiating small talk would make the situation better or worse. 

Jaemin just gives him a dirty look and pulls out his phone. Mark huffs and chooses to look out the window instead, why did Jaemin sit next to him if he was just going to ignore him anyway?

Mark is still unsure how to act when he’s alone with Jaemin. Jeno was usually there to mediate. Maybe Jaemin was acting hostile because he felt just as awkward. 

He feels a nudge at his shoulder, Jaemin pushes his phone into his face. “Look at this dog meme,” He says so casually that it almost sounds forced. 

Mark chuckles when he sees the image, “God, Samoyeds are so cute.” 

“ _Right?”_ Jaemin agrees, “I want like, ten.”

“Dude, same. Jeno hates dogs, though.” 

Jaemin scoffs. “What a loser.”

“Totally,” 

It’s quiet for a while. The bus comes to a stop and more passengers get on, while the sunset paints the sky a mellow blend of pinks and purples. Jaemin scrolls through his instagram feed and occasionally shows Mark posts. 

Mark belatedly realises this is the longest he’s ever gone without fighting with Jaemin. 

He takes out one of his earphones and offers it to the boy, whose hair colour matched the twilight sky. “Wanna share?” He asks.

Jaemin narrows his eyes but takes the earphone anyway. He wipes it with his shirt sleeve before putting it on. 

“God, Mark, your music taste sucks.” He complains.

Mark just giggles, “Like yours is any better, I bet your song library is just the _Hamilton_ soundtrack.” 

Jaemin glares at him, “So what if it is?! That soundtrack is pure art.” 

He leans closer to Jaemin so his own earphone doesn’t fall out, looking over the boy's shoulder as he scrolls through his phone.

The song changes and Jaemin widens his eyes, he lifts his head up to look at Mark.

“Shut up, I love this band.”

“ _What?”_ Mark gapes at him, “There’s no way,” 

Jaemin shoots him an offended look, “Why is that so surprising.” 

The band, in question, was an indie band he had discovered a few years ago when they played at a local festival. At the risk of sounding like a pompous asshole, Mark was surprised because they were super underground and totally different from Jaemin’s regular sound.

“Because you once told me that you think Abba’s discography should be considered a biblical text.” Mark replies. 

“And I still stand by that,” Jaemin states, “I can like more than one genre of music Mark, it’s called _duality.”_

Mark snorts. He unlocks his phone and opens up the band’s Spotify profile. “Which one is your favourite?” He asks.

Jaemin hums, taking the phone from him and scrolling through the songs. “Obviously _Mad Dog,”_ He answers as he queues up the song. 

“Damn, you even know their bsides,” Mark muses, impressed. 

This time Jaemin scoffs, “You are so pretentious, you know that?”

Mark rolls his eyes, like Jaemin hasn’t told him that many times before.

“I didn’t see them in concert last year to be disrespected like this,” Jaemin complains. 

“No way, I was there too.” 

“Oh word?” Jaemin says, “Damn, how did I not know.”

“I mean, you thought I was the most evil person alive back then.” Mark reasons, amusement clear in his tone.

“Don’t be fooled, Markie, I still think you’re the most evil person alive.”

Mark just laughs at his obvious lie.

That’s how the rest of the bus ride goes. Mark eggs Jaemin on, Jaemin responds how he usually does, with a fight, a challenge. The only difference was that the usual malice in the other boy’s tone was missing. Something more playful and lighthearted took its place. Mark likes this better. 

***

Mark sees Jaemin again at the campus coffee shop, the boy seems to be everywhere now. 

He’s typing away at his laptop when a slam on the table startles him. He jolts up.

“Jesus,” He breathes out, grabbing his chest suddenly. He glared up at the cause of his disturbance, and of course, it was Jaemin.

The boy laughs at his shock and sits in the empty seat across from him.

“What’s up, Markie?” He asks, taking a sip from his coffee. 

“Writing,” He says. 

“An assignment?” Jaemin asks and pulls his laptop out of his bag. Mark narrows his eyes, he didn’t invite Jaemin to study with him.

“Nah, I finished all my assignments. This is just for fun, I guess.” 

Jaemin eyes grow wide. He moves to grab his laptop but Mark shuts it hastily. 

“Let me read it!” Jaemin whines, his grabby hands reaching for the laptop. God, Mark couldn’t deal with his cute act right now. Once the boy starts pouting, it’ll be over for him.

“Nope, no way.” Mark says as he brings the laptop closer to himself. “Why are you even here?”

Jaemin shrugs, “Jeno kicked me out because he needed to study and told me you were here.”

“You willingly want to hang out with me?” Mark marvels, “You must be desperate.” 

Jaemin exaggeratedly slumps his shoulders and juts out his bottom lip, “So desperate.” He says, in an annoyingly high pitched voice. There was nothing in the world that bought Mark pure, unadulterated rage, as much as this overtly cute version of Jaemin. He didn’t know if he wanted to gag or squish the boy’s cheeks. Before he could make the decision, Jaemin continues speaking,

“Please let me read what you’re writing.” 

Mark hates himself for considering it. 

“It’s embarrassing,” He says quietly, “The only people I’ve shown are Jeno and Donghyuck, oh and my professors sometimes.” 

“How are you going to become a bigshot author if you won’t let anyone read your work.”

“I’m not _trying_ to become a bigshot author,” He insists, Jaemin just sends him an unbelieving look.

“So what, the elite creative writing program you’re in is _just for fun?”_

Mark sighs, “You’re aggravating, you know that?” 

The other boy’s smile widens brightly, as if receiving a compliment. “I’d be less _aggravating_ if you let me read it.”

“Fine, I’ll send you the doc.” He says in defeat.

Jaemin cheers loudly, attracting attention from the people around him, Mark ignores the way his heart beat picks up at the sight of the other boy's joyous grin. He opens his laptop and makes do on his promise. When he closes it again, he sees Jaemin watching him carefully.

The other boy clears his throat, pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie, 

“Do you wanna go get lunch?” he asks Mark, “My treat.”

Mark is caught off guard by the sudden question but agrees anyway. 

And so they get lunch. They walk to a Japanese place nearby and Jaemin’s card gets declined when he tries to pay.

“Your treat, huh?” Mark teases lightly, he ruffles the blushing boy’s hair and moves forward to pay. 

They sit at a booth in the back of the restaurant, a lightbulb flickering above them, reminding Mark of that night in Jeno’s apartment when Jaemin dyed his hair. That night felt like so long ago, when they came to the reluctant agreement to pretend to be friends. He watches as Jaemin messily slurps down his ramen, the broth from it catching around his lips. Somewhere down the line, their friendship turned into something real, it was complicated and weird and they still had their odd moments of hostility. But Mark still kept it close to his heart.

Jaemin stops eating and kicks Mark’s shin from under the table, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Are you gonna eat or are you gonna keep watching me like a freak?”

Mark laughs, he picks up his chopsticks and begins digging into his food. Yeah, he was glad this was real.

***

Jaemin doesn’t realise he’s in love with Mark until a drunk, bumbling Jeno _tells him._

Well… kind of. 

They are sitting in the campus bar during happy hour, Jeno is throwing back shot after shot while Jaemin watches him, half in awe and half in disgust. He’s already tipsy but he could tell Jeno was teetering on the edge of being shitfaced. 

“Babe, chill out with the drinks.” Mark says from next to him, taking a sip from his own beer.

Jeno just takes another shot, grinning at a scowling Mark.

“No fucking way asshole, I earned this!” 

He wasn’t wrong, Jeno had just submitted his final assignment for his hardest paper of the semester. They both knew how hard the boy had been working on that paper, he isolated himself in his dorm for the week, it got bad to the point where Jaemin had to break in and cook him his favourite fried rice to make sure he wasn’t dying. As soon as he finished, he texted the group chat ––the three of them have a _group chat_ now–– and told them he was done and desperately needed to celebrate. 

Mark just sighs, “I forgot five-drink-Jeno has foul language.” 

Jaemin laughs, pushing one of Jeno’s cheap shots towards Mark. “Live a little, Markie, or is that not in your programming?”

Mark matches Jaemin’s daring look, he takes the shot and wipes his mouth before replying, “You’re calling me a robot when you’re the one with the stiff acting?”

“Ohohoho,” Jaemin taunts, his grin growing wider. “Look who’s getting bold with the insults.” He finds he’s more entertained than annoyed. 

“Jesus,” Jeno cuts in, “The way y’all flirt is disgusting, Mark is so lucky I’m a chill boyfriend.” He giggles at his own comment.

_“Flirt?”_ Both Mark and Jaemin say at the same time, both sounding incredibly offended at even the thought of it.

This only makes Jeno laugh harder, clutching his stomach at a joke only he was in on. Mark and Jaemin exchange a confused look. 

“I’m going to get more drinks,” Mark mumbles, standing up, and stumbling towards the bar. 

Jaemin glares at Jeno when once Mark leaves, he’s about to ask _what the fuck do you mean flirting?_ But the drunk boy has already changed the topic, he’s begun babbling on about how he’s going to use his envirosci degree to solve climate change. 

Jaemin lets his eyes trail back to Mark, who was struggling to get the bartender's attention. He mulls over Jeno’s words in his head. _Flirting._ As if he would ever flirt with Mark, he was so awkward and lame, he had no idea what Jeno saw in him. 

Mark orders the drinks, Jaemin watches as he makes easy conversation with the bartender, laughing along to something he said. Jaemin smiles, Mark was so charming sometimes, so much so that even strangers picked it up, it was impossible to resist. 

Mark carries the drinks in both his arms, cradling a bottle of water between his arm and his chest. It was probably for Jeno since he was the most drunk. Mark was so caring too. In the time Jaemin has gotten to know him, he’s noticed that it’s not just Jeno that he takes care of, it’s everyone around him, Jaemin included sometimes.

Mark sits back at the table and smiles at Jaemin, it’s the same bright smile he always has, his eyes sparkle like water under moonlight.

That’s when Jaemin realises that, maybe, _just maybe_ , five-drink-Jeno had been right. 

“I need a fucking drink,” Jaemin groans out, stealing one of Mark’s shots.

This is what leads to drunk Mark and Jaemin outside Mark’s apartment, holding up a completely hammered Jeno. The walk from the bar had been a struggle, Jeno either forgetting how his limbs worked or getting distracted by literally everything on the sidewalk. 

Mark opens the door to his apartment, letting them in and turning on his lights. Jeno leans heavily on Jaemin, arms wrapped around his waist and Jaemin struggles to pull him inside. 

“Jeno, you gotta help me out here,” He grumbles. 

The other boy just whines and rests his head on Jaemin’s shoulder. 

“I’m sleepy,” He mumbles. 

Mark laughs lowly, he looks at the boy with such endearment that Jaemin has to look away. He gently pries one of Jeno’s arms off Jaemin’s waist, and helps him carry the drunk boy. Jaemin shoots him a grateful look. 

When they reach Mark’s room, Jeno immediately throws himself onto the bed and scoots under the covers. 

Mark groans, “At least change first, you're going to get my bed dirty.” 

Jeno answers with something incomprehensible, Jaemin giggles at the annoyed look on Mark’s face. 

Mark looks at him, “We should sober up, want a glass of water?” 

He nods in return, they move to leave when Jeno interrupts them, poking his head out of the covers. 

“Wait, Mark.”

“What is it, babe?”

He blinks sleepily at the boy, and Jaemin resists his urge to coo at him.

“Gimme a goodnight kiss.” 

Jaemin watches in amusement as the heat rises up in Mark’s cheeks. He walks over to Jeno and leans in to give him a gentle peck on the lips, Jaemin smiles, realising that seeing them kiss no longer bothers him that much. 

That is, until Mark pulls away and gives Jaemin a strange, sorrowful look. It was a familiar look, Jaemin had received it from Mark many times after he caught the pair being affectionate with each other. Jaemin hates it. It’s a somewhat shameful, apologetic smile which reminds him that Mark knows _exactly_ how Jaemin feels about his boyfriend. And he feels guilty about it, which is worse. It made Jaemin want to recoil into himself.

He follows Mark into the kitchen. Silence falls over them while he fills up two glasses of water for them. 

“You don’t have to look at me like that everytime Jeno shows you affection, you know,” Jaemin says tiredly, the alcohol in his veins urging his words on.

“Like what?” Mark asks,

“Like...you’re pitying me, I fucking hate being pitied.”

Mark sighs, he pushes the glass of water over to Jaemin. “I’m not pitying you Jaemin.”

“It sure fucking feels like it.” He holds the glass with both his palms, hoping the cool glass calms him down. 

“It’s just… now that I know I…” 

“What, Mark?” Jaemin snaps, getting angry. “Spit it out.”

“That’s why you hate me, right?” Mark spits back, and Jaemin knows he got under his skin. He might be the only person who knows how to. “You hate me because I’m dating Jeno and you’re not,”

Jaemin scoffs, he finishes the glass of water and hops off the stool, turning to leave the kitchen. “It’s late, I should get—”

Mark grabs his forearm, stopping Jaemin’s escape. He turns back to glare at the other boy, eyes boring into Mark’s. He sees the fire behind the boy’s eyes and Jaemin refuses to let it eat up Jaemin’s own flames.

“Let go of me,” He grits out.

Mark only tightens his grip. “No, you can’t run away from this. You have to––we have to talk about this.”

Jaemin rips his arm away from Mark, but he can still feel the boy’s touch on his skin, hot like a lit cigarette, burning it’s memory onto his arm. 

“Fine, you wanna talk? Let’s talk.” 

He steps closer into Mark’s space, raising his chin defiantly.

“I’m right, aren’t I.” Mark says, voice low and rough like gravel. “You love Jeno, and you hate me for doing the same.” 

Jaemin laughs but it sounds too raw, too bitter. 

“I can’t believe that after all of this, after everything we’ve been through, you still think I hate you.”

It’s quiet. Jaemin’s hands shake at the unwarranted confession, he’s sure Mark can hear the loud beating of his own heart. Everything in him tells him to leave, to walk away from Mark, leave Jeno’s apartment, and never ever look back. 

But Mark grabs onto Jaemin’s hands, his touch more gentle this time, like Jaemin was porcelain, and he threads their fingers together. So Jaemin stays still.

“Jaemin,” He breathes out like his name is a secret, and Jaemin almost misses it, he would if Mark wasn’t so close, if he wasn’t leaning in closer.

Jaemin closes his eyes and welcomes the warmth. He leans in until their lips are inches apart and he can feel Mark’s warm breath on his. He allows himself to be selfish, just for a second. He lets himself pretend that Mark is his, that the boy sleeping soundly in the other room is also his. That for once, the universe gave him something he didn’t have to beg and cry and scratch until his fingers bled for.

The second passes and he pulls away. He let’s go of Mark’s hand and takes a step back. The other boy was breathing heavily, his exhales coming out in shudders. 

“It’s late,” Jaemin says, he winces at the way his voice breaks. “We’re both drunk.”

Mark swallows, wiping his hands against his jeans as he tries to evening out his breathing. The air is heavy with something neither of them wanted to name. Jaemin had to get the fuck out of this kitchen. 

He watches silently as Mark puts away the water glasses, he doesn't know what to say, afraid that if he spoke again he would give away more than he already had. Jaemin wasn’t used to being vulnerable with someone, and being vulnerable with Mark… well that was a whole new level of uncharted terrority. 

Mark smiles wearily at him when he’s finished cleaning. “Let’s go to bed.”

Jeno’s light snores welcome them back to Mark’s room, he pressed to the corner of the bed, right against the wall with his face buried into the pillows. Jaemin smiles fondly, wondering how the boy hasn’t suffocated in his sleep yet. 

“You take the bed, I’ll take the floor.” Mark says. He opens his drawers and pulls out a pajama shirt, handing it to Jaemin.

“Don’t be stupid,” Jaemin says, taking the shirt from him. “I can sleep on the floor.”

He takes off his shirt, and he’s suddenly hyper aware of Mark’s gaze on him. He chooses to ignore it and puts on Mark’s red Vancouver shirt. He throws his own shirt onto the computer chair and takes his jeans off so he’s just in his boxers. He walks over to sit on the edge of the bed, not allowing himself to look at the other boy as he changes into his own pajamas. 

Mark clears his throat when he’s done, “You're my guest, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.”

“Fine then,” Jaemin says, he’s much too exhausted––emotionally and physically––to argue any further. “The bed is big enough for the three of us.”

He grabs Mark’s arm before he could protest and pulls him into the bed, he stumbles a bit but catches himself before he could fall face flat onto the bed. Jaemin tugs the blankets from Jeno’s iron grip and gets under them, moving over to make space for Mark. 

“Uh…” Mark starts, hands hovering over the covers.

“Don’t be so awkward Mark,” Jaemin says, his voice infused with sleep as he got more comfortable. He could feel the heat from Jeno’s body next to him, he wanted so badly to cuddle the boy. 

“Jen would kill me if I made his boyfriend sleep on the floor.” He finishes.

Mark laughs, it sounds a little forced, but he gives in anyway. He pulls the covers over him and moves closer to Jaemin.

Jaemin falls asleep engulfed in the warmth of the two boys that he’s in love with. 

***

Jeno wakes up to a heavy weight pressed against his chest and a searing headache. He opens his eyes, squinting at the bright light. 

“Mark, you forgot to close the curtains again.” He mumbles to his boyfriend. He looks down at the pink head of hair buried into his neck, he reaches a hand up to thread his fingers through the soft locks, the boy sighs softly in response.

Wait. 

Mark’s hair isn’t pink.

Jeno blinks the sleep out of his eyes, realising slowly that the weight pressed against him is not his boyfriend, but instead it’s Jaemin. He cranes his neck to see Mark, his own arms wrapped around Jaemin’s sleeping frame, trapping the boy between himself and Jeno. 

He smiles, feeling giddy at how Mark is pressed right against Jaemin, his head buried into the boy’s back, while his legs were thrown over his lower body. Mark was so clingy in his sleep and based on the way Jaemin’s own hands were wrapped around Jeno’s torso, he guessed Jaemin was equally as clingy.

He stays still for a moment, letting the serenity of waking up with his two favourite boys outweigh his hangover, this was nice, peaceful. Jeno wishes he could wake up like this every morning.

He feels Jaemin shift awake, his hair tickling Jeno’s nose as he moves around. Mark groans from beside him.

“Stop moving,” He grumbles out, voice muffled by Jaemin’s shirt. 

Jeno feels the exact moment when Jaemin freezes, as if realising where he is. The boy suddenly shoots up, holding himself up on his elbows and effectively throwing Mark off him. His eyes clouded with sleep and confusion.

“What the fuck,” he says, voice hoarse from sleep.

“Good morning,” Jeno greets.

Jaemin’s gaze trails from Jeno to Mark, he notices how the other boy’s gaze lingers on Mark for a while and something shifts in his expression. 

Mark, who was now awake, was actively avoiding the boy’s gaze. Jeno frowns at their strange behaviour. It was much too early for their weird drama. 

“Are you okay Nana?” He asks, Jaemin seems to break out of his trance. He looks back to Jeno.

“I’m fine!” he squeaks out, voice at a higher pitch than normal. “I should probably get going though… you know… those assignments won’t finish themselves haha.” 

He scrambles up, accidentally kicking Jeno’s ribs in his haste to get out of bed. When he’s free from the blankets tangled around his legs, he gets off the bed and looks around the room for his clothes. 

“Jaemin chill,” Jeno says, he sits up straight, head pounding harder as he does so. “Stay for breakfast at least,” 

He looks at Mark for confirmation, since they were in his apartment, but the boy avoids Jeno’s eyes, he checks the time on his phone instead. 

Brilliant, they were both going to act like weirdos this morning.

“I shouldn’t stay,” Jaemin says, pulling his jeans on. He checks his pockets for his things. “I can see myself out, see you later?” 

He looks at Jeno, his eyes begging for Jeno to give him this easy escape. What was he trying to escape from? Jeno wasn’t sure, but he was damn well going to find out. 

He sighs, “Yeah, I’ll see you later.” 

Jaemin gives him a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and leaves the bedroom, Jeno waits until he hears the front door click close before glaring at Mark.

“What did you do?”

_“What?”_ Mark says, voice a pitch higher than it usually is. “I didn’t do _anything.”_

_“_ Sure you didn’t,” Jeno grumbles.

Mark pulls at Jeno’s arm to get him to lay back down. “Come on Jen,” He mumbles, ”Let’s sleep for a little bit more and then get brunch later okay?”

If Mark thinks he could easily win Jeno over by sleepily pouting and promising him brunch, then he’s absolutely right. Jeno is weak. He lays back into the sheets and lets Mark wrap his arms around his torso. He relaxes into his arms, relishing in the content sigh that Mark lets out. 

The other boy kisses his jaw, “I love you,” He hums, sleep clouding his voice, he was just on the edge of consciousness, “I love you, Jaem.”

Jeno’s eyes fly open, there was no way he was getting any sleep now. 

***

Mark wakes up to the afternoon sun hitting his face and an empty bed. He frowns, eyes still closed as he pats the space next to him looking for Jeno. A crash comes from the kitchen, then a faint _shit._ Mark smiles, cracking his eyes open and peeking through the open door of his room to get a glimpse of Jeno, who was probably trying to figure out Mark’s coffee machine.

He stretches, turning over to grab his phone and check the time, it was just past noon. He scrolls lazily through his notifications when his eyes land one by Jaemin.

**_na jaemin (DO NOT ANSWER!!)_ **

_sorry abt last night lol_

_u should tell jen_

_he deserves better_

Mark stares at the texts for a while, the words mocking him in a way. He thinks about what happened last night. His memories were tinted with haze from the alcohol but the moment in the kitchen was burned vividly into his brain. He remembers grabbing Jaemin’s arm, the other boy leaning closer, and in that second where he could feel Jaemin’s shallow breaths against his own lips. At that very moment, Mark thought about kissing him. He thought about closing the gap, feeling all of Jaemin on him. It was like every petty fight, every heated argument and dirty look, had all led up to this one moment. The poisonous intent behind their snipes at each other burning away into something else, something like desire. 

Mark shakes himself out of his thoughts. He was suddenly feeling restless, buzzing with nervous energy. He needed to cool down before Jeno noticed something was off. He spots his guitar leaning against his bedside table, playing usually calmed him down. He reaches over and picks it up, giving it an experimental strum once he settles back down.

He strums a few more times. And begins playing a familiar melody. 

He hears Jeno humming in the other room, the smell of coffee wafting into his bedroom. Jaemin was right, he needed to tell Jeno.

***

Mark looked the most beautiful like this. The sunlight illuminated his side as he strummed gently at his old guitar. He was resting his head against the wooden headstand of the bed, eyes closed as he sang lazily to a song. Jeno stood at the doorway of his own bedroom, a cup of coffee in each hand as he watched Mark, unburdened by his usual stress lines. He looked captivating, lounging freely in his white bedsheets, like he didn’t belong anywhere else.

The other boy must feel Jeno’s careful stare, because he opens his eyes and catches Jeno’s, the corners of his lips turning up slightly. 

“Stop creeping on me.”

Jeno smiles back, unashamed. He walks towards Mark, setting the mugs on the mahogany bedside table that he and Mark found at a thrift store. Mark pushes the guitar away, making space for Jeno to settle comfortably on his lap. Jeno throws his legs over his boyfriend’s stretched out ones, leaning in and pressing a slow, sweet kiss to his lips. He cards his fingers through Mark’s soft hair and says,

“You sing so beautifully, you could beat out Donghyuck’s band,” His hands travel down to hold his nape. Mark always complained that Jeno couldn’t keep his hand in one place. He was always on the move.

Mark laughs loudly, “Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“I’m serious, Mark,” He insists, “I wish the world could hear your voice.”

His smile shifts into something more teasing. “It doesn’t matter because _my world_ is hearing it.” 

His cheeks tinge red as he cringes at his own words.

Jeno groans and moves off the boy. “You’re horrible, literally disgusting.” He tries his best to conceal his stupidly fond smile as he lays back onto the pillows. 

“Noooo,” Mark whines at the sudden lack of warmth. “I’m sorry, baby,” He says, laughing through his apology. He follows Jeno’s movement and rolls on top of him. Jeno might be bad at keeping his hands off Mark, but the other boy was worse.

He grins down at Jeno, eyes sparkling with mirth. Jeno grins back because _how could he not_ , he brings a hand up to trace Mark’s face with his fingers. Grazing over the skin under his eyes, the bumps of acne on his cheeks, and finally, his parted lips. 

When they kissed they were both smiling into it, teeth clashing and making it impossible for the kiss to be enjoyable but Jeno didn’t mind. He loved Mark like this, so carefree and vulnerable.

Mark pulls away and kisses the corner of Jeno’s smile.

“I love you more than anything, you know that?” 

Jeno’s heart rate quickens despite hearing the words many times before. He would never get used to hearing Mark say it.

“Of course I do,” He responds quietly, “And I love you.”

Mark pauses, and Jeno sees the exact moment his expression shifts into something more conflicted, the stress lines returning to his forehead.

He takes in a shallow breath and then opens his mouth to speak.

Jeno cuts him off before he can begin.

“I know.”

Mark shuts his mouth quickly and then opens it again, looking more confused than anything.

“You know what?”

“I know what you’re going to say.” 

Mark doesn’t meet his eyes and that’s how Jeno knows he’s right. He stares at the pillow beside Jeno’s face, breathing growing heavier by the second. When he doesn’t say anything for a while, Jeno cups his cheek and forces eye contact.

“It’s okay,” He says slowly, “I know you’re in love with Jaemin.”

Even though they were both thinking it, Mark looks caught off guard, and slightly ashamed.

“How,” He whispers, cheeks heating up once more.

“I’ve had suspicions for a while now, you’re not very subtle.” Or maybe Mark was subtle and Jeno just knew his boyfriend much too well. He could read every expression on Mark like his mind was a chained up pandora’s box and only Jeno possessed the key. “Also, you sleepily whispered it to me this morning.”

He looked so guilty and Jeno hated seeing it. “I’m so sorry,” He whispers, much quieter than before. Mark was never one to be quiet, he loved taking up the attention in the room, unafraid of his own voice. Jeno hated that he felt the need to be quiet now.

“I’m not mad.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “You’re not?”

“Baby, _of course_ I’m not,” He stresses out, “Falling in love is something so special and beautiful, why would I be mad at you for it?”

His words seem to assure Mark, because the boy finally lets himself breathe, a small smile playing at his lips. 

“You’re perfect.” He says before leaning in to kiss Jeno properly this time. 

He can feel his hands shake as he kisses Mark, pulling courage from his lips to let himself say his next words. He breaks away from the kiss before Mark could slip his tongue in, working up all of his nerve to speak.

“I love Jaemin too,” 

There’s a pause. 

“Oh,” Mark says breathlessly.

“Yeah, _oh.”_ He feels a little awkward. He’s always known of his feelings for Jaemin, it played in the back of his mind like white noise, but he’s never said it out loud before. 

“But Jaemin would never see me like that.” He adds. 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Mark says, frowning. 

Jeno gives him a sad smile.

“I’m serious, it’s Jaemin, I can always tell what he’s thinking and if he was in love with me I would know by now.” 

Mark opens his mouth to say something, maybe something consoling, or something pitiful. Either way, Jeno doesn’t want to hear it, so he cuts Mark off.

“I think you should ask him out,” The words feel like bile in the back of his throat, not from jealousy, but more from heartache. He shakes it off, Mark’s happiness was more important. “You two kind of deserve each other.”

“We would kill each other if it wasn’t for you.” Mark says truthfully. 

Despite Jeno’s words of assurance, Mark still looks unsure. He looks like he wants to say more, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Jeno decides he’s tired of talking about feelings for the day, it was barely 10am and he was already feeling emotionally exhausted. So he shuts Mark up in the best way he knows how, by pressing a kiss to the boy’s mouth and hoping it distracts him. And because Mark was so damn predictable, it works, he melts into the kiss immediately. Jeno sighs softly, kissing his boyfriend was a lot better than unpacking his complicated feelings about Jaemin. 

***

Jeno doesn’t hear from Jaemin for the next week, neither does Mark. His texts go unread, his calls unanswered, Jeno has considered going up to his dorm room and demanding he be let in but figured the boy wouldn’t appreciate the breach of privacy. 

Mark tries to reassure him that Jaemin is probably just overwhelmed and needs space from the both of them, but Jeno can tell he’s torn up about it too. They had grown as accustomed to Jaemin always being there. Whenever he was alone with Mark, the pink haired boy’s absence was loud, a piercing scream in their ears. They were incomplete without him. 

“I still think you should go talk to him.” Jeno insists, kicking Mark’s thighs lightly to get the boy’s attention. Mark looks up from his laptop, where he had been typing away on a piece he refuses to show Jeno for some reason.

“Jaemin doesn’t want to talk to me,” Mark says bitterly, “He made that quite clear, by you know, the ignoring.”

“That’s only because he thinks you don’t like him back,” Jeno argues, “Once you confess, he’ll start hanging out with us again!” 

Mark sighs, he moves his laptop off his legs and scooches closer to Jeno. “Babe, I’m not confessing to Jaemin.”

Jeno frowns, “Why not?”

“Because I know it’ll make you upset, you don’t have to pretend to be okay with it.”

“I’m not pretending!” 

Mark tilts his head, “Don’t lie to me.” 

“I’m n–”

“Listen, you need to talk to Jaemin before I do,” Mark says, he lays his hands on the boy’s shoulders, and runs his thumb gently over his collarbone. “For some reason you’ve convinced yourself that he doesn’t love you back, but I have a feeling that’s not true.” His words are gentle yet firm, leaving no room for doubt.

Even so, Jeno still doubts him.

“I will not, but I fuck with you for trying.” He replies.

Mark groans, “You’re so fucking stubborn.”

Jeno crosses his arms, “I don’t know why you want me to get rejected so badly,”

“You’re not going to get rejected!” Mark cries, frustration evident in his tone. 

He lifts his eyebrows at Mark, “Do you know something I don’t?” 

Mark pauses, his next few words are a stuttered mess, he’s been caught. Mark will always be a terrible liar.

“It’s not my place to say anything.” He says, “But just talk to Jaemin, _please,_ I can tell how much not seeing him is killing you _”_

Jeno relents. “Okay fine,”

“Awesome!” Mark says, pleased. “Because Dejun’s frat is having a party tonight and he told me Jaemin is going to be there.”

“ _Tonight?”_ He cries, “That’s _way_ too soon, I have to mentally prepare for this, I don’t even know what I’m going to say—” 

“Too bad, we’re doing this tonight.” Mark goes back to typing, his attention on Jeno fading away slowly.

“You’re the worst, I hate you.” Jeno mutters, he goes back to reading his book, one that Jaemin recommended to him, he belatedly realises. 

“Love ya too, babe!”

***

The party is in full swing by the time Jaemin arrives. Solo cups were scattered across the lawn, along with a few kids surrounding someone doing a keg stand. He enters the house to find it full with people, the heat from all the bodies hitting him instantly. A pop song that Jaemin has heard way too many times on the radio was pounding into his ears. He heads straight for the kitchen, he’s had a long week and just wanted the distraction of alcohol and a good house party. He ignores the fact that alcohol had been the cause of his long week in the first place.

He bumps into Yukhei in the kitchen. 

“Yoooo Jaemin my man.” The taller boy slurs out, he stumbles into Jaemin and gives him a sweaty hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever dude how have you been.” 

Jaemin frowns, “Xuxi, that’s not true at all. I saw you yesterday.” 

He tilts his head to the side, resembling a puppy, “Oh yeah!” He says cheerfully, “Have you tried the punch, it’s super strong, guaranteed to get you shitfaced.” 

Jaemin giggles, “I haven’t but I think I’ll just stick with beer tonight. Not really looking to get shitfaced.” 

“Respect,” Yukhei replies, he lifts his cup up and chugs it. Jaemin winces when he lets out a loud burp. 

Yukhei widens his eyes “Oh!” He calls out, clicking his fingers as he recalls something. “I almost forgot, your boyfriend was looking for you.”

“I don’t have a–” 

Yukhei giggles loudly, cutting him off. “My bad sorry! I forgot, Donghyuck told me not to call you guys that...yet” He smirks as he finishes.

Jaemin furrows his eyebrows, even more confused now. What did Donghyuck know that he didn’t?

“Xuxi,” Jaemin says slowly, he feels a stress headache coming on. “Who was looking for me?” 

“Mark.” 

Jaemin sighs, if Mark was here then so was Jeno. 

“On second thought, I think I’ll have some punch.” 

  
  
  
The punch sucks, Jaemin takes one sip and spits it back into the cup. Yukhei must have taste buds made of steel to tolerate so much of it. He’s on the search for better alcohol when he bumps into Jeno. Like literally bumps into him, he runs straight into the boy’s back, not really paying attention to his surroundings. 

Jeno turns around and notices Jaemin before he could run away or hide into the shadows. His eyes widen in surprise and a smile takes over his entire face. Oh, how Jaemin missed him.

“Hey,” Jeno says, his voice sounds strained, awkward. God, the two of them had never ever been awkward with each other. This was all Jaemin’s fault.

“Hi,” Jaemin says more quietly, eyes dropping to the floor so Jeno’s smile couldn’t hurt him any further.

“I was actually looking for you.” Jeno says, scratching the back of his head. “Can we talk?” 

“I guess.” 

Jeno leads him to the garage, where a lot of their friends already were. He recognises a few people from his classes too. Jeno takes a seat on the couch and Jaemin follows suit. Despite the loud chatter, this room was significantly quieter than the rest of the house, the bass from the music barely audible. 

“So...what’s up?” Jaemin asks, internally cringing at how forced he sounded.

Jeno opens his mouth to speak but a high pitched, familiar laugh grabs their attention and they turn towards the sound.

Across the room, Mark is setting up a game of beer pong with a few of his friends. He shoves Kunhang away as he says something to him. Mark turns his head and meets Jaemin’s eyes. He doesn’t know what to expect, the last time he spoke to Mark, things got weird, he wouldn’t blame the boy for hating him now, if he did something dire like glare or flip him off, Jaemin would understand.

But he just smiles brightly and waves at Jaemin. 

Jaemin gives him a small wave back, he could feel Jeno’s curious gaze on him.

“You like Mark,” Jeno says. It’s not a question. 

Jaemin whips his head back so hard that he’s sure he has whiplash.

“ _W-what?”_ he sputters out. “Dude no.” 

Jeno just smiles at him, it’s a little sad. He looks back to where Mark is and Jaemin follows his gaze. The dark haired boy throws the ping pong ball into the beer cup, he cheers loudly, fist bumping Kunhang as the other team drinks. Jaemin smiles, feeling warm at the sight of it, Mark was such a dudebro sometimes.

He looks back to see Jeno looking at him again. He’s been caught, he realises, suddenly feeling too hot. 

“It’s okay you know,” Jeno says gently. “I get it.”

“Jeno, I don’t like your boyfriend.” Jaemin insists. This can not be happening right now. He was much too sober for this conversation, he should’ve just chugged the disgusting punch when he had the chance.

“Jaemin,” the other boy says, he holds Jaemin’s clammy hand. His touch is delicate, like Jaemin would break if he gripped any tighter, and maybe he will. “You don’t have to lie, not to me.”

Jaemin sighs. He’s right, Jeno had always been an expert on reading Jaemin. His body was a glass shell, and Jeno could see directly into his soul. 

“I’m so sorry, Jeno.” He chokes out, throat closing up under the intensity of Jeno’s gaze.

But Jeno, sweet, caring, wonderful Jeno just shakes his head and intertwines their fingers together.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” He says so certainly that Jaemin almost believes him. “You should ask him out, I have an inkling he feels the same way.”

He’s smiling but it doesn’t reach his eyes, something dreary clouded over them like a brewing storm. 

“You can’t lie to me either,”” Jaemin begins quietly, he rubs his thumb over the back of Jeno’s hand. “I can tell this upsets you.” 

Jeno closes his eyes for a moment, when he opens them again, it’s glistening with tears. His voice shakes as he speaks, 

“It’s not that...I…” He swallows thickly. Jaemin wants to comfort him so badly, ease whatever distress he was feeling, but he didn’t know how to. “I wouldn’t mind if you and Mark started dating, I’d love it actually… but...uh…I was-” 

He stops talking and let’s out a long, shuddering breath. “I was hoping it was me that you liked.” His voice cracks as he finishes, tears falling down his cheeks.

_“Oh Jeno,”_ Jaemin whispers. He reaches up to cup the boy’s face in his hands and wipes away a few stray tears. “I’ve been in love with you since high school, maybe even longer than that.”

Jeno’s eyes widen, lips parting slightly. He blinks at Jaemin a few times as if waiting for him to say _sike._

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” He asks, voice coated in disbelief.

Jaemin shrugs, feeling his own eyes water. “I never even realised myself, until...” He gives a wet laugh. “...until you started dating Mark, I guess.”

“Jaemin…” Jeno says, the light returning to his eyes, burning brighter than ever. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

Jaemin laughs _,_ he lets go of Jeno’s face to wipe his own tears. “ _You’re_ the stupid one, how did Mark realise my feelings for you before you did.”

“Maybe we’re both stupid.” Jeno says softly, his nose is slightly red, eyes still wet as he gives Jaemin an impossibly tender smile. And god, if it wasn’t doing dangerous things to Jaemin’s heart.

They stay like that for a moment, watching each other like neither of them could believe what was happening. 

Jeno breaks the silence first. “I want to kiss you.” He says, his cheeks tinting with a rosy pink, seemingly embarrassed with his own bluntness. Jaemin loves it, he longs to see more of it.

“So do it.”

Jeno looks around cautiously, “Not here.”

He gets it. They were in a room filled with almost everyone from their year. Even though Mark and Jeno had a pretty open relationship, it wouldn’t look good for Jeno to make out with his best friend while his boyfriend was still in the room, losing terribly at beer pong. 

Jaemin smiles, unable to stop himself from expressing the glee that bursts through him. “Later then.”

Jeno smiles back, eyes shining with something more than tears, “Yeah, later.”

****

Jaemin never thought he’d be the type to make out with someone in the bathroom of a frat party. And yet, there he was sitting on the sink, his legs wrapped around Jeno’s waist as he kissed him with a fervour he’s been holding back for years. Kissing Jeno felt like a dream, he was so responsive, so eager to please. Jaemin never wanted to stop. His arms were wrapped around the boy’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer and revelling in the way Jeno groaned into his mouth. 

Jeno pulls away first, causing Jaemin to let out an embarrassing whine that he’s sure will haunt him forever. 

“We should get Mark,” He says, voice rough, broken and _incredibly hot._

The last they saw of Mark, he had lost beer pong and a drunk Heejin and Jiwoo were dragging him away before either Jeno or Jaemin could talk to him. _“The lesbians in his cohort are really fond of him,”_ Jeno had explained as they watched him leave with his arms linked with the two girls. 

Jaemin takes a moment to catch his breath, he unlinks his ankles from around Jeno so the other boy has space to move around.

“Yeah about that,” Jaemin drawls on, he brings both his hands to hold Jeno’s, since he’s allowed to do that now. “I really don’t want to confess to Mark.”

Jeno backtracks, pulling away in shock. “Dude, _what.”_

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m like, _really_ into him, I just don’t want to confess _first.”_

Jeno gives him a blank stare, “I’m not going to ask why because I know the answer will just infuriate me.”

Jaemin tells him anyway. “If I confess first he wins! He should confess to _me_ first.”

Jeno looks a bit like he wanted to strangle Jaemin, which honestly, he may be into. “Win _what?!_ Relationships aren’t a fucking competition.” 

“Yes they are! And I refuse to lose.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, you’re both so fucking dumb, I’m going to call him right now.”

He steps back from Jaemin, popping the little intimate bubble they had formed around them, and pulls his phone out of the pocket of his jeans.

“No wait Jeno!” He moves to grab the phone from Jeno but the other boy is too quick and pulls away just in time. They wrestle for the phone for a good few minutes before Jaemin finally gets a hold of it. 

“Aha!” He says, his free hand on Jeno’s forehead, effectively shoving him away. 

A knock on the door startles them both out of their impromptu wrestling match.

“Hey Jen, are you good? Donghyuck said he saw you come in here.” Mark’s voice trails in slightly muffled from behind the door. _Speak of the fucking devil._

They both look at each other in surprise, and then Jeno breaks into a shiteating grin.

“Yeah baby I’m good, perfect actually!” He calls back. He moves to open the door and Jaemin grabs his arm.

“Jeno no,” He hisses out. 

Jeno just ignores him, he pulls his arm away and opens the door. 

Jaemin sighs in defeat, he hops off the sink and follows Jeno.

“Oh, Jaemin is here too.” Mark says, sounding a bit dazed. 

Jaemin glances at Mark and has to do a double take.

“Are you wearing makeup?” He asks. The boy’s lips were painted a glossy red, there was glitter spread over his nose and cheekbones. Even his eyelids sparkled with gold, complemented with black eyeliner smudged under his waterline. He looked so _fucking pretty._ Jaemin was about to swoon.

Mark laughs a bit awkwardly, he looks a little spaced out, like he wasn’t fully present in the conversation. “Yeah the girls did my makeup, they insisted I would look hot with glittery eyelids.” 

“They were right.” Jaemin blurts, feeling the heat rush to his face. Jeno snorts beside him and Jaemin elbows him in return.

Mark’s lips part slightly at the compliment, mouth forming an ‘o’ as his own cheeks tint a pretty pink.

He observes Jaemin, eyes trailing from his hair down to the boy’s lips, then he shifts his attention to Jeno. Jaemin realises that they both probably looked like trainwrecks, lips bitten raw and hair pulled messily. Mark must notice this too because he honest-to-god pouts.

“Were you both making out without me?” He says, eyebrows furrowing adorably, if Jaemin wasn’t so startled at the prospect of _Mark Lee pouting_ he would have cooed, maybe even squished the other boy’s cheeks.

“How drunk are you?” Jeno asks, sounding as taken aback as Jaemin felt.

Mark giggles, “I’m not drunk at _all_.” He says, “But I did eat a pot brownie, Yeri made them.”

That’s when Jaemin notices that the older boy’s pupils were dilated and a faint red haze covered over the whites of his eyes. 

“Glad to see she’s putting her culinary arts degree to good use.” Jeno mutters.

“I told her about the cookies we made and she actually gave me a genius idea, next time we should just put weed in them!” He rambles.

“We will not be doing that.” Jeno states. Damn, Jaemin was about to say that it _was_ a genius idea. 

Jeno steps forward and wraps an arm around Mark’s waist, he immediately melts into Jeno and rests his chin on the boy’s shoulder.

“He’s clearly not in the right state to have this conversation.” Jeno tells Jaemin.

“Yes I am!” Mark insists, “There isn’t much to converse about anyways, we all like each other so we’re boyfriends now!” 

His blunt approach has both Jeno and Jaemin turning red. Stoned Mark was absolutely shameless, Jaemin loved to see it.

He crosses his arms, “That’s a bold assumption.” Jaemin says, curious to see how far he could push this, “Who says I like you?” 

Mark stands up straight and steps forward into Jaemin’s space, he pokes the boy’s chest with his index finger. “Are you going to deny it?” He challenges, “You tried to kiss me in my kitchen the other night.”

Jaemin gasps theatrically, “No, _you_ tried to kiss _me!”_

“Jesus Christ, you're both so annoying.” Jeno says, “I should just dump you both and date Yeeun, she’s nice and doesn’t pick unnecessary fights.”

“You’re gay, Jeno.” 

Jeno ignores him, “Let’s just go home and figure this shit out tomorrow, I’m tired and Mark is way too out of it.” 

Jaemin hums in agreement, they both ignore Mark’s protests and begin walking down the hallway, Mark reluctantly follows. 

Jeno drives them to his dorm because he’s both sober and the only one who knows how to drive. Jaemin sits in the back with Mark, who immediately falls asleep on his shoulder, his quiet snores fill the silence of the car. Jaemin watches him sleep, the city lights shining him in blues and reds. Jeno turns on the radio and hums along to the song, his voice grounding Jaemin to this moment.

Jaemin reckons this night tops every other night he’s ever had. He was ending the night with not only one, but two potential boyfriends. He feels his eyes grow heavy, he leans his head against Mark’s and lets Jeno’s soft singing lull him to sleep. There’s nothing he could dream about that could possibly be better than this.

***

Jaemin hates Mark Lee. 

He hates how Mark would pull away from him mid kiss just to watch Jaemin eagerly chase after his lips. He hates waking up in the morning to Mark pressing against his back, kissing the side of his neck until he was fully conscious. He hates the stupidly endeared grin Mark would flash him whenever Jaemin nagged him about something.

He especially hated when he would tell Mark just how much he hated him and Mark, in return, would kiss his nose and say _“Sure you do, Jaem.”_ In that dumb, attractive teasing tone of his.

“You are not the Kat Stratford you think you are,” Jeno tells him in response to this. And Jaemin decides that he hates _both_ his boyfriends. 

He’s laying on the couch, his head resting in Jeno’s lap as the boy reads to him. He zoned out for a while and tunes back in to the main character going on a killing rampage. Young adult horror is not an ideal leisure read.

He taps Jeno’s arm lightly so the boy stops reading.

“Have you read Mark’s new piece?” he asks. Jeno threads his fingers through Jaemin’s hair, making him let out a pleased sigh. 

“Yeah I have, it’s incredible, although the pink haired character sounds strangely familiar, can’t figure out why though.” Jeno says.

Jaemin laughs, “Aww are you jealous that Mark writes about me and not you.”

He huffs, “As if, I know for a fact that Mark waxes poetic about my smile,” He lowers his voice, “I read one of his assignments once when he wasn’t looking.” 

“That’s not fair,” Jaemin pouts, “I want poetry written about me too.” 

“Are you guys seriously fighting about this?” Mark says, walking in holding a bowl of cereal even though it was almost midnight. “This is so embarrassing.” 

He places the bowl on the coffee table and joins them on the couch, throwing himself onto Jaemin’s legs causing the boy to let out a pained groan.

“It’s not embarrassing Markie,” Jaemin says, “I think it’s cute.” 

“Yeah,” Jeno agrees, “Once I discover a new plant species I’ll name it after you guys.”

Jaemin giggles, “Yeah! And when I write my first Broadway musical I’ll do the same.” He pauses and then says, “Mark will be the second lead though.” 

“Hey!” Mark complains, “Will you ever get over that?”

Jaemin hums, pretending to think about it. “Nope, never.”

He moves his arms up and makes grabby hands at Mark, gesturing for the boy to cuddle him. The boy rolls his eyes feigning annoyance, but he moves down to hover above Jaemin, holding himself up with his elbow. He leans in to kiss Jaemin, parting his lips slowly as he moves carefully against Jaemin’s mouth. That’s how Mark was, careful. He even took care of Jaemin when they kissed, gently easing the boy into it. Jaemin is about to slip his tongue in when Mark pulls away, a cheeky smile plastered over his face. Jaemin scowls at him.

Mark drops down onto Jaemin’s chest. He brings a hand up and traces his fingers down the bumps of Mark’s spine.

“Should we go to the Farmer’s Market tomorrow?” Jeno asks. 

“Why would we do that?” Mark replies, making Jaemin’s chest vibrate as he speaks. “You don’t cook.”

“For the cute date vibes!” Jeno insists. “Besides they have more than just food stuff, Yang got this really pretty necklace from there once.”

“You don’t wear jewellery either.” 

Jaemin hits the top of Mark’s head. “Stop being mean, if Jeno wants to have a cute farmer’s market date then we’re having a cute farmer’s market date.”

He looks up at Jeno to see him smiling brightly. “I’m glad Jaemin is dating us now, he always takes my side.”

“That’s because he plays favourites.” Mark mutters bitterly. 

Jaemin runs a hand through Mark’s soft hair to appease him, and it works like a charm because the boy relaxes into his arms. It’s quiet for a bit, jazz music played quietly from Mark’s Spotify because he was pretentious and refused to pay anything Jaemin suggested. 

Jaemin lifts his hand and brings it up to where Jeno is lightly massaging his head, he stops Jeno’s hand and links it with his own hand instead. The position is slightly awkward but Jaemin doesn’t care, he brings Jeno’s hand down and kisses his knuckles. Then he leans down to kiss the top of Mark’s head, his black hair tickling his nose.

“I love you both so much.” Jaemin murmurs, his voice barely audible over the music.

He can feel his heartbeat going crazy, he knew Mark could hear it but the boy says nothing about it. Instead he lifts his head, his chin digging uncomfortably into Jaemin’s chest as he met his gaze.

“I love you too,” He says.

“More than anything.” Jeno finishes.

Oh how Jaemin loved his two boys. They were his everything, his ecosphere, his blanket on a rainy day. His home. He stares up at the ceiling and silently thanks the universe for finally giving him something good, something he didn’t need to fight for. 

After all, it was just a universally known, non arguable fact.

The sky is blue. The earth is round. Jaemin loves Jeno and Mark. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i hope you liked it, lemme know ur thoughts hehe. follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/smartlcve)
> 
> BIG FAT THANK U to aris (ao3 user venusbot) for always being excited abt my fics and helping me w feedback and support. ilysm <3


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